Grace in Real Life. Not the Pretty Instagram Kind

I’ve given grace to a lot of people.

Like, a lot of people.

I’ve given grace to folks who forgot, dropped the ball, showed up late, and didn’t show up at all. I’ve made excuses for people who didn’t ask

for them. I’ve softened my voice, made space, and held understanding. I’ve done all that without a second thought.

But when it came to me?

Grace would try to come back around and I’d block it every time.

I’d tell myself I should’ve done better.

Should’ve tried harder.

Should’ve been more disciplined, more focused, more… whatever.

Deep down, I really believed that. For years.

Especially before I knew I had ADHD.

Before I had words to describe why I felt the way I did, why I moved through the world the way I did. I spent a long time creating systems and routines, not because I was super organized, but because I had to. It was the only way I could function without everything falling apart. I didn’t even realize I was masking. I just knew I was exhausted. I was doing all the things, but still feeling like I wasn’t enough.

The truth is, I was hard on myself.

I’d beat myself up over the smallest things.

For forgetting.

For being late.

For not following through on something I really meant to do.

For needing more time when everyone else seemed to be able to just push through.

It wasn’t until I started learning more about myself, especially after my diagnosis that I realized I’ve been trying to live a life that wasn’t built for me. Yet, I blamed myself every time I couldn’t keep up.

That’s why I’ve been sitting with the idea of grace.

Not the kind I give out to everyone else but the kind I need to start giving to myself.

Because here’s what I know now:

I’m not lazy.

I’m not broken.

I’m not weak.

I’m a person who deserves grace. Not just when I’m doing well. Not just when I’ve earned it. But especially when I haven’t.

Grace isn’t about earning anything. It’s about meeting yourself where you are and still saying, I love you, here, in this moment and time. It’s about acknowledging that even when you fall short, you’re still worthy.

We don’t have to get it perfect. We don’t have to have it all together.

But we can practice giving ourselves grace, little by little.

We can remind each other to pause, breathe, and try again tomorrow.

So if you need someone to say it — here it is:

You’re not too much.

You’re not behind.

You’re doing the best you can with what you have.

And that’s enough. Truly.

Now, on other blogs or in another life, this is where someone would drop a reflection prompt or a journal question for you to sit with. Listen, I support that… in theory. But me being who I am, I already know I’d either forget to come back to it or not want to do it at all. I’m just gonna say it out loud and keep it moving.

So I challenge you to do whatever works for you.

Say it. Scribble it. Sit with it. Ignore it and just come back when you’re ready.

This is your grace, your rhythm, your journey.

We’re in it together.