The Courage to Say Yes (Even When You Spiral Afterward)

ADHD, Identity & the Quiet Struggle — with Topeka McClain

I said yes to something that scared me, to something that would expose me. I know you're shouting, "Well, girl, what did you say yes to?"

A podcast.

After agreeing to be a guest on the Hold My Purse podcast, my stomach dropped, and my brain flooded with a thousand what-ifs. What if I ramble? What if I don't make sense? What if I embarrass myself?

Fear came at me fast and hard, but I said yes anyway because deep down, I knew I needed to. I wanted to talk about ADHD, self-love, and what it really looks like to care for yourself when it's messy, hard, and not at all polished.

I did the podcast. It was a liberating experience to sit and talk with Rho, the incredible host of Hold My Purse. I was my whole, authentic self. I spoke about my journey, insecurities, and the continuous work it takes to learn how to love yourself when you've spent years second-guessing everything.

But afterward? I spiraled. Oh, I'm talking, REAL BAD.

In the quiet that followed, my brain wouldn't stop replaying every word. Did I answer her questions? Did I talk in circles? Did I even make sense? It felt like every insecurity I've ever had was on display. I knew I should've been proud. Technically, I was proud. However, my pride and fear were battling something serious following the recording. ADHD doesn't always let me stay in the "good feelings" for long. My mind jumped straight to picking everything apart.

We celebrate the "yes," but not the messy middle that comes after. The part where you're trying to hold onto your courage while your mind whispers that you didn't do enough.

This is where the work of self-love really happens for me. It's not just in saying yes. It's in what comes after, when I have to ground myself and say, "You were invited because your voice matters. Even if it wasn't perfect, you showed up honestly. Overthinking doesn't mean you failed. It means you care."

It's learning not to let the spiral erase the fact that I was brave. It's choosing to speak to myself the way I would talk to a friend. It's trusting that even when my brain tries to convince me otherwise, being real will always matter more than being polished.

Pulling myself out of that overthinking loop isn't easy. Eventually, I realized I'd rather be the person who says yes and feels a little shaky afterward than the person who says no and stays small. Even if it was messy and I second-guessed every word, I still did it. I still put myself out there, and that's worth being proud of.

If you've ever said yes to something scary and then immediately wondered if you ruined it, you're not alone. This is what growth feels like sometimes: raw, wobbly, and honest. Here's what I keep coming back to:

You don't have to be perfect to be impactful.

You don't have to be polished to be powerful.

You have to be you, even when it's scary, and that's enough.

This is the part of growth we don't see often, the messy middle, the quiet work of calming your own heart, the tender reminder that courage doesn't always feel good in the moment, but it's still

courage. Every time we say yes, even if we spiral afterward, we build another layer of trust in ourselves.

So tonight, if you're replaying your own big, brave yes, I hope you pause long enough to remember this: you were bold enough to begin, which will always count for more than perfection.

May you trust yourself a little more each time you say yes.

And if you want to hear the conversation that started this spiral and this stretch of growth, you can catch my episode on the Hold My Purse podcast or watch the recording on YouTube. It’s honest, unpolished, and real. Exactly the way this journey has always been.